It seemed like netizens have assumed too much that Philmar Alipayo and Andi Eigenmann have separated because they unfollowed each other on social media, while the latest video showed that the family was dining together with their elders and kids along the spread of the controversy. Further, that there was no confirmation of the break-up from any of the party.
Wow! Social media indeed is a “chismis” powerhouse gone too far. As they say, “Paladesisyon” and “Pakialamero.” However, Andi as a famous influencer, who openly shares her family life on Facebook and Instagram, automatically encourages commentaries and opinion and she is used to being praised or scrutinized, unless she keeps her Island life away from critiques by choosing to live privately. Thus, she surely knows what she’s dealing with.
As for me, there is nothing wrong about deciding to be with the person you love and leave the life you were born in or used to because having a family or to be single is a choice. In case of Andi, being an actress and in showbiz like her parents, the late Jacklyn Jose and Mark Gil who left vital footprints in the history of entertainment industry, it’s also normal that she has chosen to leave show business to follow the love her life, because at the end of the day humans innately enjoy making decisions out of our infinite choices. So, does Andi, standing by it as long as she could, where she feels needed and loved.
But, isn’t it also as important to love ourselves first and know our worth, that way we will have enough love to give? According to April Eldemire, a psychotherapist who specializes in marriage and couples’ issues, new-parenthood transitions and blended family dynamics, “With self-love, you’ll show up in relationships as a strong, confident, and secure person. You’ll feel whole, which will end the need for external validation. You’ll love from a place of feeling fulfilled, rather than a place of feeling empty, and you’ll understand your needs, which will help you communicate effectively with your partner. When you truly love yourself, you’ll know what boundaries you need to set, what you’ll put up with, and when to walk away. You’ll show up as an empowered person and healthy partner when you embody self-love.”
When I got married, the first stages were the hardest especially the first five years as I have to adjust everything for my husband. I left home in the city and lived with him in the countryside. I have made decisions focused on family and kids just like Andi did and in the middle of it, I got tired because it seemed like “I’m beginning to feel drained and that I have less love to give.” There was really a point when I have asked, where am I or how am I doing or do I still recognize myself because I just got lost and felt like I was left behind by my husband. I became suspicious, insecure and hated my reflection in the mirror. Perhaps, these were just my assumptions or post-natal worries while raising our child, but then, it was also an awakening that I had to go back to things I naturally love to do. Things I don’t just do because I share it with him. Or things that give me growth as a woman and as a person. I just decided to start loving myself, my imperfections and strength, until little by little, I have regained my confidence and recognized my self-worth, because I knew that was the kind of person my husband has loved in me and that based on where we are now, it has helped I have become better either in my career, wellness, and life goals, which, eventually, in our twenty-two years of marriage, have nurtured our relationship to be strong despite the daily demands of work. Most importantly, I could say, that one day, should I leave this earth, I will have NO regrets, because I have chosen to forgive myself, worked on where I lack, and chosen the path I wanted to be, personally, socially, and morally.
Seeing the state of life Andi had, may it be in career, the exposed relationships, her wealth, and even considering the unknown prior to Philmar, I cannot lay the right words, or I am in no position to bring out an unsolicited advice for her. I am also uncertain that what I did could be what she needed because we are in a very different situation. I just hope that the fountain of love which she selflessly shares, will remain substantial, sufficient and won’t run dry.
So goes for all women out there.
